Milano cookies are incomparable. I bite into one of those delicious little things and I am immediately reminded of cuddling into bed and pulling a bag out of my pillowcase and... well, thats too much information. And wow, I'm a fucking fat ass.
Milan the city is equally scrumptious, only a tad more wet and rainy. Imagine if Florence and New York both got incredibly disgustingly drunk one right and had painful, regrettable unprotected sex (for the purposes of the story, New York is male and Florence is female). They create a baby and try numerous ways to abort it to no avail (Florence pulls a Kate Winslet without, you know... dying.) Out pops Milan, a nice hybrid of the old school beauty of Florence and a hustle-and-bustle of New York City, without quite being either.
Our Hostel was a nice little place, complete with kitten bedspread, a bide (sp?) without an adjacent toilet, a bunny-ear television, and a life-size porcelin Snow Leopard. (We would soon find out that Milan is not the city of lights or shopping but rather of quite large porcelin creatures) Little did we know that the Snow Leopard would be one of the highlights of our visit (our visit was by no means bad but the Snow Leopard was just that fucking amazing).
And so our Milanese journey began. In Centro was the Duomo which, to be honest, kicked the sweet little ass of Florence's duomo. It was not only huge but incredibly ornate... After an incredibly long hike, we were treated to the roof of one of the most beautiful Catholic structures I have seen in my life. Statues of saints every two steps, pillars, marble... Words cannot describe, not even rain could dampen this sight. Definitely one of the highlights of my trip abroad so far. (also there was a billboard of our dear friend ScarJo)
Then we got hunted down by African imports trying to sell us bracelets. They do a silly little thing where they run up to you, shove seed in your hand, and wait until the birds come and ravage you. Then expect you to give them money. Yeah right, I will not pay you to get shat on so you can buy your wives in your home country fare from the Amistad.
What else? We went to this huge castle with like, 40 million museums. While they were all interesting in their own ways, one particular highlight was the enormous porcelin crab. Once again, the procelin animals reveal themselves.
That night, we went to the best resturaunt ever in the entire world. 4 euro Margherita pizza with no cover charge. Success. Food in general was just wonderful in Milan. We also went to a bakery that had CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFINS that you had to eat with a spoon! What a concept.
Yes, Milano was fabulous. It was like cramming two together and making a super Milano sandwich... yes, I am a fatass.
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